Want to know some genuine happiness magic?

Here it is:  Practice enjoying positive experiences until they outweigh your negatives ones by a ratio of 3 to 1.  Do that, and you’ll be swept into an upward spiral of steadily increasing joy.

Actually, it’s not magic at all.  It’s just the way things work.  “What you focus on expands,” is as true of happiness as it is of anything else.  It really is that simple.

But what’s simple isn’t always easy.  And it’s not just you.  It’s all of us.

Wired for Negativity

The problem is that we’re wired for negativity.  Our pay-attention mechanisms are, the positivity scientists point out, “Velcro for problems; Teflon for joy.”   It’s one of those survival things.  We look for dangers in order to protect ourselves.

What our brains can't find, they make up.

Now safe is good.  You can’t argue with that.  But the number of man-eating tigers loose in the environment is far fewer than our Velcro brains want to believe.  Finding few tigers, they scour around for other scary stuff that might be lurking, and what they don’t find, they make up.  Before you know it, the whole world is a downright threatening place.

Add to that the fact that our brains love to problem-solve.  It’s one of their favorite things in the whole world.  How are you going to problem-solve if you don’t have any problems?  Better find some, our brains say, and quick.

Plus, because we’re made of joy, and joy is light, we’d go floating off into space if we didn’t have a little gravity in our lives.  (At least that’s my personal theory.)  Gravity keeps our feet on the ground.

So we have three essential reasons, right there, for nursing our negativity.  We work really hard at it.  We’ve built huge industries around it to make sure we have enough gravity and problems and fear.  You don’t have to worry about ever running out.

But you do have to realize you’re bucking your brain’s natural tendencies (not to mention the culture’s) when you set out to put the happiness magic in action.   It does takes some work.

On the other hand, the payoff is great.  Happiness beats gloom and boredom hands down.

Pumping Up Your Ratio

So how do you start pumping up your positivity ratio?

First: By deciding it’s what you want to do.  You make it your intention to gather all the positive goodies you can:  you decide to feel the gratitude, the serenity, the engagement, the delight and awe and love.  You wake up in the morning and remember that positivity is your primary focus for the day.  You remember that it’s your mission for the rest of your entire life.

Next: You remind yourself all day long, before every task, before every new activity.  You commit yourself to looking for the pleasure, the satisfaction,  or the challenge in everything that you’re doing.  You let yourself be interested in your tasks and mindful.  You bring to them your willingness to be present and appreciative.

Third: You train yourself to notice when you’re entertaining worry or anxiousness, when you’re complaining or blaming, or putting yourself or someone else down.  And when you catch yourself at it, when you notice that your attention is on someone or something that ruffled your feathers, or on some dreaded future task that you’ve already contemplated a dozen times or more, you stop yourself in your tracks.

You take a deep, wonderful breath, and find something that’s great about right this very minute.  You ask yourself, out of all the possibilities this moment holds, what’s the happiest thing you can do right now.

Maybe it’s just that you remembered to ask yourself how you can be happier now.  If the thought gave you a bit of relief, sparked a little smile, kindled a little hope or enthusiasm, you’ve got the magic.  Keep it rolling.  Go for that 3 to 1 ration, and ride the spiral from there.