“Life proceeds out of your intentions for it. When you are aware of this, you can live your life deliberately.” ~Neale Donald Walsch
Back in the middle of the last century, fathers used to ask their daughter’s dates, “What are your intentions toward my daughter?”
What Dad wanted to know was whether the young man‘s purpose was an honorable one or not.
That’s what an intention really is: a motivating purpose. Our intentions identify our direction and provide criteria for the choices that we’ll make. More than that, an intention is an energizing force, carrying us toward the results we want to achieve.
Intentions are the foundations on which we build our goals. If you set a New Year’s resolution to lose twenty pounds, for example, your intention is probably to be healthier or more attractive. If you resolved to start your own business, your intention may be to achieve financial freedom or to create a life style that would be more self-directed, creative and fulfilling.
In the end, all intentions are about tapping into more happiness. And by ‘happiness’ I mean the whole range of positive emotions that contribute to our sense of flourishing and well-being: joy, serenity, engagement, meaning, gratitude, pride, love, peace. That’s what we’re all really after. We want to feel good about ourselves and the life that we’re living.
So, echoing the Dad I mentioned, let me ask you, What are your intentions? What purposes are motivating you? What are you hoping to achieve?
The more aware you are of your intentions and the clearer they are, the more power they have.
The Pitfalls of Good Intentions
But intentions have a couple of hidden pitfalls, too. Instead of feeling motivated by them, you can find yourself feeling driven and stressed. Instead of reaching for the standards they embody, you can feel beaten by them, discouraged and sure you’ll never measure up.
Sometimes the negativity rises from internal programming that you’re still working out. But powerful waves of external negativity assault us, too, every day, in countless ways.
As James Clayton Napier points out in his excellent article on Intention Power, when the evidence of our senses tells us we’re a million miles from our goal, it’s tempting to argue for all the obstacles, all the things that are going wrong and to fall victim to what Napier labels ‘Reverse Intentions:’
“See? This doesn’t work. I’m living proof. I never get any breaks. I’m invisible. Who cares if I fail? Nobody. Show me one thing that’s going right for me. Why don’t I just give up? My life’s a mess and crumbling all around me.”
The Antidote to Reverse Intentions
The antidote to these kinds of toxic reverse intentions is, of course, maintaining positivity. Positivity is the power vitamin that immunizes you against the attacks of negativity viruses. It keeps your faith and confidence strong while you traverse the inevitable rocky, barren places in your journey.
So how do you use it? Well, first you recognize that all your intentions are meant to bring you greater happiness. Happiness is the intention of all intentions, the goal of all goals. So you consciously adopt it as your basic intention and link it to all the others:
- I intend to get physically fit—and to be happy while I’m building greater fitness.
- I intend to find/create my ideal career—and to be happy as I do it.
- I intend to be a more attentive and loving spouse/parent/child—and to be happy as I learn to be that.
In other words, you empower your intentions by intending to be happy while you’re in the process of moving in their direction. Consciously intending to be happy allows you to choose to respond to stress with a few minutes of relaxation, to choose to notice and appreciate when things are going well, to choose not to criticize and blame yourself or others when you experience a setback, but to take it in stride, learn its lessons and go on.
The Power of Positive Intention
Setting a primary intention to be happy boosts the odds of your success. Happiness frees your mind to be open to new ideas, models and methods.
When you’re happy, you’re more likely to attract new opportunities and to connect with potential supporters. It allows you to feel more at ease, confident and optimistic as you move toward your goals—and to enjoy the scenery along the way.
For years, my top intention has been “I intend to live happily ever after.” And you know what? I do. Even when my secondary aims change or take far longer to materialize than I’d like, because my primary aim is to be happy, I can say I’ve made the most of the journey. And that, really, is what it’s all about, isn’t it?
Try linking an intention to be happy to your new year’s goals. Rewrite them with the happiness intention added, and see what a difference it makes in the way they feel. Can you sense the added energy and lift? The boost in optimism and determination? Do they feel like less work and more fun? I’d love to know!
Life proceeds out of your intentions for it. When you are aware of this, you can live your life deliberately. ~Neale Donald Walsch
Back in the middle of the last century, fathers used to ask their daughter’s dates, “What are your intentions toward my daughter?” What Dad wanted to know was whether the young man‘s purpose was an honorable one or not.
That’s what an intention really is, a motivating purpose. Our intentions identify our direction and provide criteria for the choices that we’ll make. More than that, an intention is an energizing force, carrying us toward the results we want to achieve.
Intentions are the foundations on which we build our goals. If you set a New Year’s resolution to lose twenty pounds, for example, your intention is probably to be healthier or more attractive. If you resolved to start your own business, your intention may be to achieve financial freedom or to create a life style that would be more self-directed, creative and fulfilling.
In the end, all intentions are about tapping into more happiness. And by ‘happiness’ I mean the whole range of positive emotions that contribute to our sense of flourishing and well-being: joy, serenity, engagement, meaning, gratitude, pride, love, peace. That’s what we’re all really after. We want to feel good about ourselves and the life that we’re living.
So, echoing the Dad I mentioned, let me ask you, What are your intentions? What purposes are motivating you? What are you hoping to achieve?
The more aware you are of your intentions and the clearer they are, the more power they have. (If you’d like a cool tool for keeping them front-of-mind, go get a free copy of Dr. Joe Vitale’s Intention Creator [www.intentioncreator.com] software. I’ve been using one for years and I love it. Thanks, Joe!)
The Pitfalls of Good Intentions
But intentions have a couple of hidden pitfalls, too. Instead of feeling motivated by them, you can find yourself feeling driven and stressed. Instead of reaching for the standards they embody, you can feel beaten by them, discouraged and sure you’ll never measure up.
Sometimes the negativity rises from internal programming that you’re still working out. But powerful waves of external negativity assault us, too, every day, in countless ways.
As James Clayton Napier points out in his excellent article on Intention Power, when the evidence of our senses tells us we’re a million miles from our goal, it’s tempting to argue for all the obstacles, all the things that are going wrong and to fall victim to what James labels ‘Reverse Intentions:’
“See? This doesn’t work. I’m living proof. I never get any breaks. I’m invisible. Who cares if I fail? Nobody. Show me one thing that’s going right for me. Why don’t I just give up? My life’s a mess and crumbling all around me.”
The Antidote to Reverse Intentions
The antidote to these kinds of toxic reverse intentions is, of course, maintaining positivity. Positivity is the power vitamin that immunizes you against the attacks of negativity viruses. It keeps your faith and confidence strong while you traverse the inevitable rocky, barren places in your journey.
So how do you use it? Well, first you recognize that all your intentions are meant to bring you greater happiness. Happiness is the intention of all intentions, the goal of all goals. So you consciously adopt it as your basic intention and link it to all the others:
I intend to get physically fit—and to be happy while I’m building greater fitness.
I intend to find/create my ideal career—and to be happy as I do it.
I intend to be a more loving spouse/parent/child—and to be happy as I do.
In other words, you empower your intentions by intending to be happy while you’re in the process of moving in their direction. Consciously intending to be happy allows you to choose to respond to stress with a few minutes of relaxation, to choose to notice and appreciate when things are going well, to choose not to criticize and blame yourself or others when you experience a setback, but to take it in stride, learn its lessons and go on.
But in addition to allowing you to feel more relaxed, confident and optimistic as you move in the direction of your secondary intentions, have a primary intention to be happy helps to ensure your success. Happiness broadens your view, allowing you to see more possibilities and opportunities. It provides you with greater resiliency and makes you more attractive to those who can aid you in your quest.
For years, my top intention has been “I intend to live happily ever after.” And you know what? I do. Even when my secondary aims change or take far longer to materialize than I’d like, because my primary aim is to be happy, I can say I’ve made the most of the journey. And that, really, is what it’s all about, isn’t it?
Try linking an intention to be happy to your new year’s goals. Rewrite them with the happiness intention added, and see what a difference it makes in the way they feel. Can you sense the added energy and lift? The boost in optimism and determination? Do they feel like less work and more fun? I’d love to know!
